you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
