I skipped work to stalk him.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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