Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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