And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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