All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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