so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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