It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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