i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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