Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
