Porn is love you can see.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
