writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
