At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
