New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
