can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
did i walk over a car last night?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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