OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
