I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
