it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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