Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
