How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
