I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
