you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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