Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
