The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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