why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
