I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
