Tell her she can't have a vagina
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
