I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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