in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
