Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
