He disabled his match.com account in front of me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
bring money and cleavage
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
