I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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