You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
