I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
