Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
