So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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