real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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