dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
