well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
