There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
