yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
