i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
