there was a trapeze. enough said
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
