the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
