Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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