So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
