Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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