Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
