rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You smell like stripper and shame
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
