So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
