i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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